Part of a Greater Plan
By Renee Wahlen TillemaLife is full of surprises. Chance happenings that come so unexpectedly. For Jaclyn Gregor, the unexpected came in the form of a car accident one foggy December day. In that one instant, her life was forever changed.
In the eight years since the accident, Jaclyn has kept a positive attitude, helped along by close family and friends. She has since finished college, found a job she loves, gotten married and moved into a new home.
A 1999 Lomira High School graduate, Jaclyn was in her first semester at UW-Whitewater when she was in the accident. Jaclyn was driving the car just outside of Mayville and said she did not see the stop sign because of the fog. She was hit by another car on her passenger side. Jaclyn was driving with a friend, who was also injured, but not seriously. She said her friend's injuries were "fixable."
First transported to Beaver Dam, Jaclyn was then transferred to Madison by ambulance because it was too foggy for Flight for Life. She spent the last two months of her recovery at Froedert Hospital in Milwaukee.
"I don't remember anything," Jaclyn said. "I don't remember Beaver Dam or anything besides being in Madison and them telling me that I couldn't use my legs. I know that I was thinking about the plans I had for Christmas."
Just one month shy of her 19th birthday, Jaclyn suffered a spinal cord injury because of the impact of the accident. Her C5 cervical (neck) vertebra was shattered, so the doctors fused the C4 and C6 together.
"They didn't honestly come outright and give me an answer, but I have more movement, more feeling and more control than I am medically supposed to have," Jaclyn said. "I am considered a C5/C6 incomplete quadriplegic. That's my official title and what that means is that I'm not supposed to be able to use anything below my arms."
The first few months after the accident consisted of intensive therapy, up to four hours a day. Because of her injury, Jaclyn needed the use of a wheelchair. She also had to relearn how to dress herself, hold a fork, roll over in bed, bathe and shower. Many of the daily tasks that people take for granted, Jaclyn was learning to do in a new way.
"It was tough," Jaclyn said. "Physical therapy was hard. It was difficult, but I was never depressed. I was just like, 'Okay, this is what I have to do.' It was a challenge, basically. I think that had to do with all the family support, and I have a strong faith in God."
While Jaclyn said she does have her days when the challenges are more difficult, she reflects on the fact that it could have been worse; she might not have survived the accident, or could have experienced a severe head injury resulting in brain damage. She is still thankful for what she does have in her life.
"I don't blame myself, I don't blame the weather, I don't blame the woman that hit me," she said. "It is what it was – it altered my life and my parent's life hugely, but I can't dwell on the what-ifs."
After leaving the hospital, Jaclyn's parents, Rick and Kathy Boerst, remodeled their house in rural Theresa to make it accessible, and Jaclyn moved in with them. She described this whole experience as a major lifestyle change for everyone.
"I had really good family support," she said. "My mom stayed overnight every single day I was in the hospital, she was always there. My dad would drive my brother down because he was still in high school. There was extended family as well; I have lots of aunts and uncles."
When her brother, Adam, graduated from high school and was looking at colleges, Jaclyn decided it was time for her to pursue the college education she had once started. "My brother doesn't know it," she said. "But he was the one who got me back to school."
Jaclyn knew she didn't want to go back to a four-year college; she wanted to work on her degree online. Through the Wisconsin Department of Workforce Development's Division of Vocational Rehabilitation, Jaclyn was assisted in preparing for her online studies. She received her general associate's degree in arts and sciences two years ago.
Through a friend, Jaclyn met Mark Gregor, four years ago. Mark first acquired her e-mail address and then phone number. They started to talk and as Jaclyn said, "things progressed from there." After dating for one year, Mark proposed marriage and they were engaged for two years. They were married on September 22, 2007 at St. John's in Lomira.
"It was a perfect day," Jaclyn said. "My dad carried me down the aisle; he almost lost it by crying. He said he had to quit looking around at people; he had to look straight ahead. People clapped as he carried me down the aisle, which is kind of different. It was very emotional, there wasn't a dry eye."
Jaclyn described the whole day as "awesome." She and Mark moved into their new house right away and left one week later for their honeymoon in Pennsylvania. In celebration of their recent one-year anniversary, Mark and Jaclyn went to the Packer-Cowboys game in Green Bay.
Mark works at Fox Lake Correctional Institution as a security officer. Jaclyn works at Alter-Ego Tattooing & Body Piercing in Kewaskum. The owner and tattoo artist is Jaclyn's neighbor, Renee Pastorius.
"She comes and picks me up in the morning, we go to work and she drops me off again," Jaclyn said. "It works really well, I get to see a lot of different people and hear a lot of interesting stories. I am the receptionist, keep the books, and greet clients -- pretty much anything. My boss treats me completely normal and the customers have been really great."
Jaclyn describes her life as "pretty much keep on keeping on." She hasn't let the accident slow her down much. Although she knows having Mark in her life has certainly made it much more complete.
"I learned not to take the little things for granted," she said. "Simple little things like opening a water bottle. Things you don't think about until they are gone. That is probably the main thing I have learned from all this."
Jaclyn still faces some challenges in life, she could drive if she wanted, but said she is just not ready for that step yet. She is uncomfortable being at home alone for long periods of time, in case she would fall.
"If we do decide to have children, that would be another huge step," Jaclyn said. "There are challenges out there, I've not been put in a little box and am done."
Some of the interests that Jaclyn had before the accident have definitely changed, but she said that might be just because of maturity. She does still enjoy shopping, although it certainly is more difficult now as she can't try on clothes in the store, she has to purchase them and try them on at home. Jaclyn said she is also met with many stares and gawking people while in public.
"We just do things differently," Jaclyn said. "We have to plan and evaluate the situation. There are those little things you don't think about like stairs, the bathroom and table height. It opens up people's eyes that are close to me. They see things differently."
Mark and Jaclyn have done their share of traveling since becoming a couple. Mark has taken her to Chicago and Mexico and on their honeymoon they traveled all over Pennsylvania. Jaclyn continuously reminds herself that there are so many things that she still can do, she doesn't spend that much time thinking about what she can't.
"Don't dwell on the past," Jaclyn said. "You can't change it; we have to live in the future. Keep thinking of that and move on. I never thought I'd get in an accident and break my neck – you never know. If people had said that I would be married, have a husband and a brand new house, and maybe kids in the future, I might have looked at them twice – but, you never know. There is a greater plan out there for us that we don't know."
